Who knew

I got a new laptop (Macbook Pro), which will of course be useful in keeping my top secret government information safe from evil-doers. Also, it allows me to keep on the move while writing blog posts so I don't get inundated with fans whenever I sit to type.

That reminds me.

The other day at work I left to go outside for my break, because the smell of stinky old ladies practically crapping themselves in my line had escalated to the point of being unbearable. Outside were a bunch of teenagers hanging around; fans of mine no doubt. They hung around their cars like losers and upon returning inside I let a manager know. She told me to shoo them away.

I shot them.

Well, I shot one of them, but that made the rest of them leave.

I dragged the body inside and I'm not sure what the manager did with it, but I heard lots of disembodied shrieks and a dark aura appeared around the outline of the door.

Later on my manager emerged from her office with blood dripping from her mouth and gave me a free lunch coupon. I used it to buy ten Rolo...ses.